6 Ending Post

Sadly this is the last and ending post...so for this special occasion, I decided to change up my style of writing a little bit. There'll still be a lesson, but the second part of my post will be a personal story from my life I'll never forget. Well, hope you enjoyed my blog! 

Last lesson: DON'T EVER NEVER EVER NEVER EVER INVOLVE YOUR KIDS IN ANY KIND OF ISSUE IN YOUR MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER!

It's been a little over 5 years since this little incident happened and I thought I was over with it. I thought I forgave and forgot about it. But I guess I was wrong. I started to think about my dad tonight, and that memory came back to my head. Right then I began to cry as if it happened all over  and I never saw it coming again. 

2003: I was so happy to finally be able to see my dad in so many months. We rarely ever had time to visit my dad when my sisters and mom and I went down to L.A. We were out there for a wedding on my mom's side of the family, and my mom said we can go visit my dad if we want. She said we could spend the night at his house and she would pick us up in the morning for our long drive back to the bay area. You don't even understand how much joy--that rushed into me in only that 1 second it took my mom to say the word yes--I had in me to just hug my dad. Or even just be in the same house as him, for I missed the feeling of having that father around. But too bad that joy ended almost as fast as it built up in me. 

My mom dropped my little sister and I at his house. We rushed out and ran into the house, but only my cousins, aunt, and uncle was there. They said that he was at a church function and he should be home soon. Only a few minutes later and I hear the car pull up outside. It was him. I seen him through the window walking towards the front door with plates and plates of Tongan food. I was thinking, "Wow. Two nice treats in one night...seeing my dad and eating my favorite Tongan food." He walked in the house and there my sister and I stood cheesin' and looking stupid in front of all his family. I promise you don't even understand the pain that all of a sudden got hammered into me. His face expression was not what I was expecting. And definitely what he said was not what I expected. "What are you guys doing here?! Who told you guys to come here?! I don't care where she is, call your mom and tell her to come back right now and pick you two up!" My chest felt heavy, my face started to swell up, my lungs felt like it was going to shatter. My heart. My heart was in so much pain like needles were just flying at it. When I thought the needles were done, my heart fell to the ground, from a 50 story building. Then ran over by a big rig carrying 10 elephants. Then trampled over by the elephants. Then it just lied there and rotted. Well, for 15 minutes straight until my mom got back, he was telling us he didn't want us there because my mom decided for my sisters and I not to be part of a wedding from his side of the family. Apparently he thought it was only right if we didn't come to his side of the family's functions, we shouldn't come at all. Thanks for warning us about that mom. No, I don't blame her for it. I blame him. My mom has always done the right thing in raising us girls. She didn't want to involve my sisters and I in the fight she was having with my dad. My dad's family never liked my mom and is known for making her kids look stupid, so why should my mom let us girls be part of their wedding all of sudden after 10 years? She was only protecting us from them. My dad didn't agree at all. He's a punk and always running to his damn mom! Listening to everything that evil witch said! The whole time my sister and I stood there crying, and feeling moded, that bitch sat there right next to my dad looking at us and giving us an evil eye. What my dad did was nothing a parent should ever do to their kids. All I could feel was hurt. It hurt.

4 Re: Start Your Child's Education Early

In the blog "Start Your Child's Education Early" they talk about how kids learn quick when they're little. From the day they were born to them at five years old is when they learn the most. I totally agree with that. They catch on to the cuss words we accidently slip out and the next word they're saying are those cuss words. Even if we whisper it, they'd catch it. They learn manners and even disrespect. If you find yourself punishing your kids, stop and think about where they learned it from. In the blog they get their info from studies. I get mine from real my own experiences with little cousins, brothers, nieces and nephews. Who we are is who they're going to be.

3 Work Hard Now, Enjoy Later.....Isn't It Too Late?

There are the parents that start off working hard so their kids can have a better childhood. Then there are those who just make it. No more and no less. These parents have different values. One would rather be able to provide more, and the other has more time on their hands to actually BE parents. Work Hard Now, Enjoy Later....Is it too late?

My sister is a great parent, and so is her husband. But they are working during most of their kids' lives. My sister works in San Francisco, lives in Sacramento, and trains it back and forth everyday. Her husband works about half an hour the wrong way--during rush hour its an hour or two from Sacramento. And they both come home tired and worn out. By the end of dinner, everyone is ready call it a day. No kind of family time. But somehow their kids learned the important lessons and still getting brought up well. The oldest nephew is so smart, but he got a lip sometimes. The middle one, my niece, is so attached to their babysitter. And the youngest boy, my favorite, learned my name first...even before "mom" and "dad." Yes their parents working hard, owning their own house, but two of their kids confused who their parents are right now. By the time my sister retires, the kids wouldn't be kids no more. They'd be starting their own family by then. 

When my sisters and I were younger, my mom didn't have a choice to work more or less. She worked about 20 hours a day and we just barely made it. Even  in the cheapest 1 room apartment for us 5 girls, we were still behind on rent. Our whole childhood, my sisters and I had to watch out for ourselves. Even now, the two oldest have their own families, I take care of myself and my lil sister. I promise by the time my mom decides to retire we'd all be out.

2 Be a Man 'bout It!

There are so many hit and runs. Guys hit, and once they see they've done damage, they run. And I am not talking about car accidents. 

I'm talking about women who have to work their ass off by themselves to support the kids it took two people to make. I know this lady who took care of 4 girls by herself. Yeah it may sound like a little, but for a immigrant with no kind of work experience starting from scratch, you try it. It was a never ending obstacle in life. No time to rest at all. Before the sun came up, she would be out to work already. Raised the two eldest girls to take care of the two youngest while she was at work. And was barely at home with them because she was trying to keep that roof over their heads, food on that table, and clothes to keep them warm. While he was sweatin' blood, the ex-husband was getting drunk somewhere having a great time with his good for nothing brothers. It must run in their family or something. Almost 30 years now and less than $100 of support came from that bastard...or are my sisters and I the bastards?

5 If You Start a Family, There's No Going Back

There's no going back once you start a family. It's not like a roller coaster ride where you can stand in line to get on, then change your mind and hop off. The biscuit is already cooking in the oven. Even if you didn't plan on starting a family yet, you got ten months to prepare yourself for one. 

Now-a-days I look to my left and I see a classmate from high school expecting. Then when I turn to my right my little

 cousin is pregnant. They have no jobs. No life. They live with their parents. The baby's daddy? Who knows? Those girls may say getting pregnant is their decision, but who ends up supporting the baby? Parents who have grown old and thought they did their job in life already and taken care of their share of kids. Them young one's starting a family are selfish. A mother's worse fear for their daughter is getting sexually assaulted/harassed. Getting pregnant unexpectedly at a young immature age is the runner up. Getting pregnant and being sexually active are two totally different decisions and situations. Get them straight. Reminder to the 80 young and prego girls who I passed on the street just today, you're bringing a living being to the world, it's way bigger than high school drama.

1 Welcome Post

Kids growing up really need their parents around. They need them for support, to learn from them, discipline to keep them in check, and mostly comfort. Babies cry and can only be really comforted by the mother's touch or the father's protection. I am not the worse case scenario, but I barely had either of those. And now that I'm older, I see that the world is changing and it is rare to see kids with both parents' fully there for them. Some have only one parent, some have neither, and then there are the lucky ones with both--even those lucky ones could have at least one parent messing up: alcoholic, drug addict, etc. Happy families are only in movies and fairy tales. The real life is everyone for themselves. Independency.